plz talk dirty to me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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