:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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