I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
