just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
