did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
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