No awkward lesbian experiences without me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
