OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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