i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
