So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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