whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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