i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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