so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
