Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
