We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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