So drunk its hurt
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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