pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
