he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
