What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
