No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
