Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
