He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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