he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
