Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
