She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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