see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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