I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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