Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
