I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
