Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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