matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
