if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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