I want to have your abortion
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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