i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
