I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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