yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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