hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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