someone get that fucking seahorse.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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