dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
