will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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