Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
