Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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