not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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