I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
