I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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