why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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