i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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