The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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