I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Everything about him screamed your future.
Come see our sink grown plant.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
