Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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