you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
