if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
