You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
