Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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