Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
