I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
