They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
