In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
