How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
either way he was missing a nipple.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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