explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
